Life Coaching & EFT Articles/Blog
Tips for creating a life you love from life coach Pamela Bruner.
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Forget the Resolutions!
At this time of year, we as a culture seem to delight in pointing up
our shortcomings, and dwelling on our 'shoulds'. Some of the
'shoulds' aren't even ours, we borrow them and then suffer under
them! We come up with schemes and plans designed to give us the
perfect bodies, the perfect relationships, the perfect finances - and
almost always starting off with 'what's wrong in my life that needs
to be fixed'. And we do this all in the name of the tradition of New
Year's Resolutions.
It's no real surprise, then, that most New Year's Resolutions whither
on the vine long before the end of January. Our good intentions
fizzle under the weight of obligation, struggle and effort that is
attached to them. Because we begin these resolutions by noticing
what's 'wrong' and what 'needs to be fixed' we give energy and focus
in our lives to what we DON'T want. Shifting from that to what we do
want, as expressed in our resolutions, seems an immense challenge.
And we fall back into our old habits, whether it's snapping at the
spouse and kids, not exercising, eating what we don't need, or
spending on something we don't truly want.
So let's throw out the resolutions! Let's break the cycle of
'woulda, shoulda, coulda' and do something different! Does this mean
that we're doomed to repeat our current unsatisfying habits
endlessly? Not at all! But there are different ways, more effective
ways, more joyful and fun ways, to bring change - lasting change - to
our lives.
If you've been reading my newsletters for any length of time, you
know that I believe that what you focus on expands - what you bring
energy to grows in your life. So I'm going to suggest that instead
of resolutions (nose to the grindstone, struggle, effort, drudgery),
you try a new idea to bring what you desire front and center in your
life.
Acknowledge yourself for what you do in your life that is in
accordance with your values. Every day.
That's it - pretty simple, huh? Let's look at this idea, this
incredible tool, to see how it works, and how to best use it for
maximum results.
The first thing that you'll need in order to do this is a list of
your values - things that are important to you. Some of these you
may know immediately, and some you may need to think about. Here are
some questions that may help:
- At a time when I was really effective in life, what qualities was I expressing?
- If I consider my three favorite characters or real people in books or
movies, what is it about them that I most admire?
- What feelings or qualities give me an overwhelming sense of
well-being? Do I resonate more with the idea of passion, or of
serenity? Of adventure, or of security?
- Come up with five or ten words that you just love - and yes, this
list can and may change over time.
(Caution: Don't borrow anyone else's, or society's, values in this.
Your list does not have to include any particular words just because
you think that they 'should' be there. This is YOUR list!)
Now that you have a list of values, you can acknowledge yourself.
How you acknowledge yourself is important. Acknowledgements are not
compliments - they are a recognition of action in alignment with
principle, your principles, your values.
If this is a tool that you are unfamiliar with, you may want to begin
using it in the following way:
- Reflect back on an action that you took that felt great to you.
ex: I responded calmly when a family member was complaining to me.
- Identify the value that you hold that was supported by that action.
ex: I have a value of peace; I am committed to living a peaceful life.
- Acknowledge yourself for the action that was in accordance with your value.
ex: I acknowledge myself for living my value of peace in that
family interaction!
Alternately, you may want to choose one of your values, and look back
in the last day or week at everything that you did that expressed
that value.
Here's what makes this work: Do this every day - preferably in the
evening, at the end of your day. You can do this aloud, or write it
down. You can do it with a partner (who listens, but doesn't speak!)
At first, this may seem awkward, or perhaps conceited or arrogant
(it's not). Keep going! You're making those important connections
between your values and your actions. The more that you do this, the
easier it will become.
Always use acknowledgement in a positive manner. Acknowledge what
you did that worked, and what you see now that could work more
effectively. For example 'I acknowledge myself for seeing how I
might use my value of serenity in a similar situation in the future,
and how effective I will be when I do!' Do not acknowledge yourself
in a way that creates what you don't want, or that indicates any
mistakes or shortcomings. When you focus your attention on what
works, what is consistent in your life with your values and desires,
you attract Universal energy to that. Every time you acknowledge
yourself for living your values, you put energy and attention on what
is most important to you - and it expands.
So forget the resolutions - acknowledge yourself, and see how great you are!
Workshop notice: I have two workshops currently scheduled:
A Musician's Path - February 10th, 10-5pm, $95, near Asheville, NC
This workshop is designed for musicians who desire to
powerfully create a vision for their musical future. From this
incredible day, you will:
- Discover yourself as a complete musician
- Remove limiting beliefs
- Learn to listen with a new ear to nuance and expression
- Find out what really inspires you
- Formulate a plan that will incorporate that into your music
- Get clarity about what's important for you
- Create a practical, enjoyable plan of action for achieving your desires
Call or email me for more information!
Creating Magnificence: Living a Life You Love, April 18-22, Costa Rica
More information about this terrific opportunity will come in a
separate newsletter - stay tuned!
Movie suggestion of the month:
The Secret - this incredible movie is fast becoming an icon for
anyone who wants to powerfully create their life. You can view or
order it online through http://thesecret.tv/
It's one of the few movies that I own, so I can watch it over and over.
Pamela Bruner, Certified Life Coach, EFT-ADV
Creating Powerfully
Phone: 888-736-0620
www.CreatingPowerfully.com
Pamela@CreatingPowerfully.com
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